Healthy Hot Pockets

This week’s mission: real natural chicken and microwavable savory turnovers.

Special Moments with Grim Gruel

This week’s mission: personality-based soft drinks and microwave baked desserts.

The Raisin Bran of My Fantasies

This week’s mission: British breakfast cereal with masses of fruit, and sweet, spicy spread.

Get Healthy Real Easy

This week’s mission: two servings of vegetables in a powder and one in a soup.

Vile, Terrible, Nasty, and Ugly

CHOW talks to A. A. Gill about the business of reviewing restaurants, organics as a style statement, and the dark evil of Starbucks.

What's a Generic Product?

They’re often made by big-name brands, but without the actual branding.

Bagel Felony

This week’s mission: Healthier rice/potato chips and cream cheese–filled bagel cylinders.

Alluring Burger King Apple "Fries"

This week’s mission: low-fat prepackaged ice cream cones, and a healthier Burger King kids' meal.

Bistronomics 101

French chef Iñaki Aizpitarte proves that you don’t need a trust fund to afford haute cuisine.

Joyless, Sullen Brown Brick

This week’s mission: healthy candy bars and high-end Pringles.

Elf Ladies Like Mint Candy

This week’s mission: a mintier old-school candy bar, and a candy bar that’s actually an energy bar.

I Do (Eat)

Get the most out of your wedding caterer.

Venial Vegetable Trickery

This week’s mission: a snack mix with Cheerios, and frozen vegetables with health claims.

Cheesy Beefy Melt and Simple Harvest Hot Cereal

This week’s mission: a new comforting burrito and wholesome, flavored oatmeal for adults.

Steppin' Up Your Cheese Game

This week’s mission: frozen diet dinners featuring fruit, and classy cheese vehicles.